Thursday, April 22, 2010

GUESS WHO'S COMPUTER THIS IS?

My Bat-computer.

Yes, I recently pimped-out my mac with a bitchin' BATMAN decal.



Watch as the mac-bat emblem glows ominously in the darkness.

I was always partial to Frank Miller's explanation of why Batman wore bright yellow on his bat-emblem-- it attracts the eyes of potential shooters and makes them aim for the chest (which has extra kevlar protection) as opposed to aiming for the cowl, which is more vulnerable to bullets. It almost makes sense.

Imagine if the bat-emblem glowed like Iron-Man's chest piece? I'm surprised no one thought of this yet. It could be used as a strobe that Batman uses to blind opponents in the darkness... and it would give Nolan an opportunity to give us a yellow bat-emblem in the next film, if only for a fleeting moment. Nolan gave us Batman with white eyes (like he's drawn in the comics) at the end of the Dark Knight when Bats activated the sonar device, so why not give us the yellow emblem for a brief moment?

I miss the yellow-oval bat emblem.

Your Friend,

D.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

GUESS WHO WENT TO PANDORA YESTERDAY?

Avatar Dom with his lovely doe-eyed Wife.

The Wife & I went to the Grove and had our faces morphed into our Avatar selves. We attempted to have our Daughter Avatared but she wouldn't hold still while the morphing technology took her photo.

My Wife said I look like a sneaky Nav'i. Unfortunately, I agree. Looks like I'm up to no good... like I might betray my species for a comfortable pad by the beach on Pandora.

Your Friend,

D.

Monday, April 12, 2010

VADER (DE) - a new short story by Domenico Salvaggio







vader (de) Domenico Salvaggio

vader (de)

n. father, male parent; priest. (pronounced vah-der)

-- Babylon Dutch English dictionary



DEREK wasn’t a tough guy.

He never bullied, intimidated or hurt another human being in his entire life. He never held a gun in his hand. He never even fired a bullet. His friends would laugh at him for going through life without ever being in a fight. He never punched someone and never got punched.

Derek wasn’t a tough guy.

3 months ago he became a first time father to a stunningly beautiful, cherubic baby girl who was to be called Summer even though she was born in Spring. Fatherhood came upon Derek like a slowly building storm. Except during childbirth, he was on the sand while his wife was in the middle of the ocean battling the harsh waves. All he could do was watch helplessly from the beach.

At 3 months and one day, Summer was sick. It wasn’t serious but she needed liquid antibiotics. With his wife at work, Derek strapped the child in the baby car seat and off they went to the local pharmacy in Woodland Hills, CA.

It was a peaceful day, with peaceful skies in a peaceful neighborhood. Puppy dog clouds and perfectly manicured lawns all around. Nothing but perfection, until a black mini-van traveling at the speed of a Ferrari viciously cut in front of him. The brakes screeched, the car buckled and he barely stopped within an inch of the errant van.

The van, unaware of its transgression, just kept on going. Derek was severely rattled. He turned to check on the child who had nothing but a big smile for him. But instead of the smile making him feel better, his eyes clouded over with a new sensation—Rage. Pure, unfettered rage took over Derek’s entire being. He slammed the accelerator and raced after the culprit in the van that endangered his child’s life.

The van in question was idling at a red light. Derek pulled over beside it. His window slid down and harsh words were exchanged between Derek and The Man In The Van. Words even Derek couldn’t believe were streaming out of his mouth. The Man In The Van threatened to place his foot in Derek’s various cavities. The light went green and the Man In The Van challenged Derek to a fight. Derek looked back at his child… Derek wasn’t a tough guy. This was a well-established fact. The van sped off and disappeared around a corner. Derek sat for a moment, his hands shaking. He continued toward the pharmacy.

At the local CVS, Derek waited at the prescription pickup counter with Summer in his arms. She was smiling and eliciting smiles from every single person around her. Even at this very young age, Summer’s eyes were vigilant and almost preternaturally aware of her surroundings. She was already working the room.

From the corner of his eye, Derek saw something… something that registered on a primal level. His heart began thunder-pounding his chest. The Man In The Van was making a beeline toward him. He was a large Man in a black overcoat, as menacing as can be. The Asian pharmacist approached the counter, Summer’s medication in a small plastic baggy. Derek already had his money out of his wallet, fully prepared to pay. Derek turned from the pharmacist and began to walk away from the counter, as quickly as he could. The Asian pharmacist calling after him: “Sir… Sir! Your prescription!“

But Derek was gone.

Outside, in the CVS parking lot, Derek walked briskly. Summer began to squirm in his arms, preternaturally sensing the uneasiness in her father’s every step. Derek looked at the reflections in the car windows--- he could see that The Man In The Van was right behind him… almost upon him.

Derek was never so afraid in his life. Not for himself. He didn’t care what happened to him.

Derek saw a woman with a baby carriage standing beside a van. He ran to her and instinctually handed Summer to the lady: ”Please, I need you to hold her.” The woman, slightly surprised and somewhat confused kindly took the child.

The Man In The Van said: “There you are…”

Before The Man in The Van could finish his sentence, Derek turned and cold-cocked the Man square in the face. Derek, who never fought or taken a punch in his life, delivered a near perfect blow as if it was something he was born to do. The sound was sickening. Bone and cartilage breaking and the blood… so much blood. Derek had never seen so much blood erupt from a single person’s body. The Man in The Van collapsed and fell to the concrete in a single sagging wasted heap.

The next sound Derek heard would stay with him forever:

“That’s my husband!!!”

Derek turned and saw the Woman with the carriage who was holding his baby, her eyes crazed with anger and confusion. Derek had crushed her husband’s nose with his fist. Her husband was the Man In The Van and right now she held Summer in her arms. All Derek remembers was seeing Summer’s tiny legs dangling heplessly, while in the arms of the Wife of The Man In The Van.

The fear that built in his chest coiled around his heart and nearly suffocated him. But he remained calm. Derek ran to the woman, snatched his daughter from her hands and walked away. As he walked by the Man In The Van, Derek saw that he had a fistful of dollars. The Man In The Van whispered: “You forgot your money… on the counter…”

Derek entered his car and drove away, his daughter safely in tow. Derek discovered something about himself that day. He wasn’t a tough guy but when it came to his daughter there’s nothing in this world that would stop him from protecting her. That’s what father’s do. They protect their daughters.

What he didn’t know was that in a mere 3 months from this very day, this newfound knowledge about himself would allow him to do things he never even dreamed he was capable of.

3 Months Later.

Derek woke up. He was normally a late sleeper but on this morning he awakened before his baby and Wife. The sun wasn’t even up yet but it already felt hot out there. It was the heart of summer.

For him, mid-July would always be the sweet spot of summer, the time when the best things in his life happened. He stared at his sleeping wife. Swept hair from her face. He glanced in his baby’s crib. She was asleep on her side. He leaned in to kiss the child.

Derek sat by the pool on a green lawn chair. Not a soul around him. It was far too early for anyone to be awake. He lived in a condominium complex that housed 207 units. It felt more like a resort than a condo complex and everyday felt like a vacation for Derek.

As with all complexes of this size, it was a microcosm of the world outside with all the social strata represented--- From kind elderly couples to young, nubile newlyweds. Of course, with every contained culture there were the prerequisite colorful characters. By colorful Derek meant, “steaming assholes.” High on the steaming a-hole list was the President of the condo association who never failed to remind you that he was indeed, the President.

His name, ridiculously enough, was Johnny Carson, like the famous talk show host. Except this Johnny had none of the wit, the charm or class. He was a cranky, never been married old codger whose limbs looked like wrinkled saddlebags that were left out in the California sun for the past 50 years. Prototypical dirty old man didn’t even begin to describe him. He would always sneak glances at Derek’s wife when they were at the pool. She would make fun of Carson. Derek, who wasn’t a tough a guy, would let it slide but Carson’s lascivious glances at his wife irked him.

And just to add to Carson’s many annoyances, he loved saying: “Here’s Johnny!” right before jumping into the pool.

Carson was the kind of guy who would fine you for having more than three guests at the pool because it exceeded the two guests per resident limit; he also towed Derek’s car on more than one occasion when we he was parked in the loading zone for more than 20 minutes. There was also the “no babies in the pool rule” for fear of errant fecal matter floating to the surface. Carson was an ambulating, steaming pile of irritations.

Derek really got the impression Johnny was trying to turn the complex into an old folks home and on some level he was succeeding. Youth unnerved Johnny. It made him seethe with envy; it was as if he would do anything to suck the life force out of anyone that seemed to be having more fun than he was, which in his case was just about everyone in the condos of California Place.

If Carson was the bad condo-cop, then the good condo-cop in this equation was Gerry Anderson. Gerry was the Vice President of condo-heaven. He was a former hard-ass marine with big forearms and a twisty mouth. Derek and his Wife called him live-action Popeye. Gerry went along with Carson’s marching orders but you could tell he had a softer side and secretly detested Johnny’s rules.











Living behind the security gates in the California Place Condos in Woodland Hills, CA was an experience Derek dearly loved despite the Johnny Carson of it all.

But right now, Derek sat alone by the glistening pool, enjoying the silence. He waited for the sun to rise. He enjoyed the quiet moments before the bustle of the day.

It would be the last time Derek would experience this level of quiet and contentment in his life.

He kissed his Wife goodbye and she went to work. The baby was fed and gurgling and cooing on the sofa. Derek had surrounded her with a series of pillows. Little Summer was boxed in and there was no way she could roll off the cushions.

Derek was home today in what he liked to call, full-on “Daddy Day Care Mode”. His Mother-in-law who normally took care of the baby during the day had a doctor’s appointment, thus Derek was in charge of his darling girl. He cherished these moments because it gave him the opportunity to watch her already keen intelligence develop. He’d secretly been training his 6 month-old daughter for weeks to say the words: “Da-Da”. So far it was an unsuccessful venture.

Derek stood on the balcony and stared at the building behind his condo. It was a rather famous Rehabilitation Center that at one time or another was always housing celebrities who could be found on the covers of People Magazine. He enjoyed looking down at the building, which had a fierce-looking security gate around it.

From his vantage point, he could see the spacious backyard that had a ping-pong table and a large pool. Derek sometimes watched the patients, as they attempted to socialize and put their lives back together. On quiet days when he was alone, he considered them his silent friends. The rehab center gave him hope. People went there to better themselves and this filled Derek with a quiet sense of contentment.











A patient stopped playing ping-pong, dropped his paddle and began staring directly at Derek. This would occasionally happen. Sometimes Derek nodded. Sometimes he waved. This time Derek smiled at him but the patient’s face stayed frozen and immobile. And then the patient did the strangest thing of all—

He made a slashing gesture across his throat, turned and walked away. Derek wasn’t sure if he saw what he just saw. It took a few moments to register but the odd gesture happened. A cool chill ran through his body and if you could measure his core temperature, you would find that it dropped a few precious degrees.

Derek stood in his living room. His daughter was asleep on the sofa. He heard crying: From above, from below and next door to him. Everywhere he looked, Derek was surrounded by newborn babies in the condo complex. It was a veritable newborn baby explosion. At least a dozen babies were born in the past year and half. Maybe there was, as they say, something in the water.

Derek checked on his daughter. She was still sleeping, a half smile on her face. He decided to attempt to get some work done. When his daughter was home with him it was very difficult to work. It would sometimes take Derek 7 hours to check email when the baby was with him. He joked that having a baby was a full-time job for 3 people.

Derek sat at his desk and began to trace over the very detailed drawings of two costumed men in mortal combat with one another. Derek was a comic book Inker, which meant he was a professional tracer. But don’t call him that to his face. An Inker takes a comic book artists pencil drawings and goes over them in ink, taking the image and turning it into a finished piece of work. Derek took great pride in his work. The inker is often the forgotten hero of the comic book business. But inking was a vital part of the comic creation process. His greatest influence was the legendary Dick Giordano who had an incredible run in the Batman comics of the 70’s.

The Phone rang. It was Derek’s brother-in-law Daniel who wanted to drop by and repair a leaky faucet he had promised to fix weeks ago. It also gave Daniel an excuse to visit his niece. Derek welcomed the company. Daniel was on his way.

Derek and Daniel were polar opposites: Daniel was very manual; Derek couldn’t change a tire. Daniel was a card-carrying member of the NRA who always carried a weapon on his person no matter where he went and Derek was an anti-gun activist who wanted to banish guns forever. Shockingly they got along like friends who had known each other for years.

Derek was putting the finishing touches on the comic book page when the baby monitor on his desk crackled. What he heard next both startled and delighted him:

“Da-Da…”

Derek picked up the monitor, turned up the sound and heard a steady stream of “Da-Da’s” came out of it. Strangely, behind the words he could hear the TV. Had he left the TV on?

He rose and ran into the living room. The pillows had been shoved aside and Summer was sitting, straight-up like an adult. She looked at her father, said “Da-Da” then looked at the TV. Before we go further, you need to understand that newborns rarely if ever begin to speak at 6 months. This usually happens at the 9 Month mark. But not only was Summer speaking, she was sitting up in an almost preternatural fashion. She looked like the world’s smallest adult. He knew how intelligent his daughter was. He knew how valuable she would be.

The TV flipped from one image to another: Infomercial, Oprah, Rachal Rae, Tiger Woods. In between the random images, words would appear---

DO

NOT

FEAR

COOPERATE

More random TV images appeared, along with the following chilling words:

WE

ONLY

WANT

THE CHILDREN

Derek quickly scooped Summer into his arms. He held her tight against his body. They stood by the large glass sliding windows, which lead to the balcony. The screen was open, letting the warm breeze filter in. The red living room curtains billowed around them when it happened-----

A bright white FLASH of light blinded him. Summer instinctively burrowed her head into his chest. The white flash was followed by transparent gelatinous objects the size of basketballs falling from the sky landing all over the concrete parking lot of the condo complex. It looked like it was raining over-sized Jellyfish.

He stepped onto the balcony to take a closer look when a RED HAZE which seemed to spring from the ground just outside the complex, began to rise upwards forming a red dome around the entire property. Derek and the rest of the dwellers were trapped in the condominium complex. It all felt slightly off-kilter and surreal to him.

Derek saw Kyle, one of his neighbors, who was a manager at Blockbuster, approach one of the gelatinous objects, which was on the concrete parking lot below. It looked like a cocoon. The transparent cocoon suddenly opened and released what appeared to be hundreds of tiny nails. Not nails but sharp parasitic spores that imbedded themselves into Kyle’s skin. For a moment, he resembled a human porcupine. The parasites wriggled into him and Kyle keeled over to the ground writhing in pain, the spores burrowing and disappearing beneath his epidermis.

Derek went back into the house and shut the glass sliding door. Locking it. He tried the house phone and the cell phone. Both were dead. The Internet wasn’t working either. Derek lived on the second floor. With baby in hand, he slowly opened the front door and saw Kyle chasing after a small Asian boy. Kyle, his eyeballs pitch black, captured the screaming child and pulled him into the bushes where they both disappeared. Derek shut his front door. He couldn’t believe this was happening. He tried to remain calm.

Harsh banging on the front door startled him. The baby began to cry. He tried to quiet her down. Derek went to the front door and looked through the eye-hole. It was Daniel, his brother-in-law.

Daniel: “Let me in, bro! It’s crazy out here!”

Derek didn’t know what to do. Should he let him in?

Daniel: “Come on, I know you’re there!”

Derek let Daniel in. Daniel had a large black duffel bag with him. They sat in the living room and discussed what was happening and plotted their escape. Daniel reached into his duffel bag and pulled out a sawed-off shotgun. Daniel was a gun nut and always had some kind of weaponry on him. This irritated Derek to no end because he was a serious anti-gun proponent, but on this day, Derek was never so happy to see a fully-loaded weapon in his home.

Daniel explained that his van was parked in the guest parking lot out front. He told Derek that when he entered the complex there was no red fence but once he was in, it suddenly appeared… like a magic trick. Daniel theorized that the red hazy dome was only visible on the inside. Like a Venus flytrap; you could walk into the complex but you couldn’t walk out. Daniel saw people acting strange. The adults all had eyes that were completely ink black… and they were taking the children, hustling them away. The condo "infected" adult residents were going door-to-door kidnapping the children. They both knew that eventually they would come for Summer. They both agreed that they would never let that happen. They put together a plan.

Summer couldn’t stop crying. This would eventually attract attention. Nothing could stop her from crying. As much as he hated doing it, Derek administered a small dose of Nyquil to the child. She was sound asleep in minutes. They decided to place the baby in Derek’s black Diesel backpack, don sunglasses so their eyes would be covered, feign that they were part of the infected, make their way to the van and bust out the front gates. It was a barely tenable plan but it’s all they had.

Derek and Daniel walked down the stairs toward the pool area. They would have to cross the pool area to reach the guest parking lot. Both sported dark shades, Daniel hid his shotgun inside a trench coat he found in Derek’s closet. Derek wore the backpack that had a slumbering Summer hidden within. Derek was sweating profusely but trying to remain calm.

Derek pulled his Camera phone from his pocket and began filming the gelatinous cocoons that were festooned all over the walkway and courtyard. The pods hissed and pulsed angrily as they walked by. It looked positively otherworldly. It was evidence of the invasion. He needed to have it.









They walked by the glistening pool. Not a person in sight. It was eerily quiet… when the doors to the GAME ROOM suddenly opened. The complex had a game room where all the residents would sometimes congregate and get acquainted.

A small Russian Boy who had recently learned to speak English leaped out of the game room and rushed toward Derek and Daniel. Derek had befriended the Boy several months ago and thought him how to swim in the pool as his mom, a widower, watched with happiness in her eyes.

The Russian Boy went to Derek and hugged his legs: “Help me De-wik… p-wease…”

The President stepped out of the game room. His eyes darker than coal. He walked toward Derek and Daniel. Derek wanted to help the boy but Daniel motioned for him not to. It was useless. If they would help the Boy they would be compromised. Four other infected adults stepped out of the game room, each one with the same black-reptilian eyes.

Carson snatched the screaming child and stared at Daniel with curiosity. There was a tense moment between them. No words were said. Carson turned and dragged the Russian child into the game room. The other adults disappeared into the game room.

Daniel: “Think of Summer. There’s nothing we could do.”

Derek felt shattered but he had to protect his child. They walked past the game room, which housed pool tables, table soccer and other assorted games.


They stood in front of the White Van in the guest parking area. Behind them the game room loomed ominously.

They made it this far. Derek could hardly believe it.

Daniel opened the back doors of the White Van. It took a moment for Derek to understand. Inside the van there were over twenty transparent INCUBATORS, one stacked on top of the other. Each one had a small unconscious BABY in it.

Daniel removed his sunglasses and smiled: “Sorry bro.”

Like black oil pouring into a glass; Daniel’s eyes became black as tar. Derek made a move to run but Daniel quickly pointed the shotgun at him. Derek turned, and saw he was flanked by Carson and his trusted minion Gerry.

CRACK! Derek was hit from behind and all the lights in the world went out for him.

Derek slowly awakened. He was looking at the grey tiled ceiling of the game room. He realized he was laying on the pool table, his hands and feet tied to the edges of the table. He looked to the side and saw a gelatinous pod pulsing and swaying, on the verge of releasing it’s deadly parasitic spores. Soon he would be one of them, a mindless child-killer.

He saw Carson approach the pool table. Gerry right behind him. They just stared silently at Derek with their cold black eyes. Derek pleaded for the life of his daughter but the men or whatever they were now, never even flinched. They stared at him like reptiles.

The President of California Place walked over to Derek, reached into Derek’s pocket and grabbed his cellphone. He activated the video setting and saw the footage of the otherworldly pods. Carson shut the phone and placed it into his pocket.

Carson suddenly collapsed to the floor unconscious. Behind him, stood Gerry with a blood-covered pool cue. Gerry began to untie Derek’s hands. Gerry’s black eyes flickering, the cool blue natural hue slowly returning.

Gerry said: “It’s the booze. It flushes it out of your system. I never thought all that drinking would save my life. I never liked this asshole. You’re a good kid. Let’s go save your daughter.”

Derek and Gerry looked out the window from the game room and saw Daniel and two women loading more babies into the incubators inside the van. Gerry saw the shotgun leaning against the van door. He took Derek’s sunglasses and walked out of the game room, motioning for Derek to stay behind until he gave the signal. The old man had brass-coated testicles. Of that there was no doubt.

Gerry walked right up to Daniel, picked up the shotgun but Daniel was quick. A struggle ensued. BLAM! The gun went off, shredding Daniel’s leg. Daniel fell to the ground.

One of the women jumped Gerry and plunged a butcher knife deep into his throat. The old marine died instantly, the shotgun skittered across the floor.

Two hands picked up the shotgun.

The two women looked up and saw Derek holding the shotgun. He never hesitated. He hit the trigger. A large flash. A booming sound and one of the women went flying backwards with such force you would have thought a gale force wind hit her. Derek went to shoot the other woman but the gun was out of ammo. She charged at Derek with a bloody butcher knife in her hand. Derek stood his ground and swung the rifle, butt end first, completely obliterating her face. Blood and gristle splattered against the White Van.

Derek wasn’t a tough guy but when it came to his daughter there’s nothing in this world that would stop him from protecting her. That’s what father’s do. They protect their daughters.

Derek jumped into the back of the van and frantically searched the incubators for his baby girl. For a few panicked moments he couldn’t locate her. Then he heard something:

“Da-Da!”

The tears could not and would not stop flowing. He opened the incubator and pulled his daughter out, kissing her repeatedly. Nothing in his life would ever compare to this moment. Not his wedding. Not his daughter’s birth. Nothing.

Derek heard steps. He saw the others had noticed that the President was down. They were coming for him. They were coming for the babies. Derek would not, could not let this happen.

Derek got into the driver’s seat. His daughter safely wrapped in a jacket on the passenger floor and smashed his foot into the accelerator. He wrecked the front gate and went through the hazy red dome. Red Electrical sparks ricocheting within the van but Derek kept going. He drove as fast as he could away from California Place.











When Derek was stopped for speeding by a police cruiser, he had difficulty explaining what had happened. Shock played a significant factor in his inability to speak. The cops discovered the multiple children inside the incubators in the back of the van. Derek was arrested and put in jail. He was tried and convicted for 30 counts of kidnapping and for the murder of Gerry Anderson, a decorated War veteran, and two female occupants of California place.

The President of the Condo Complex who sustained severe injuries but survived went on several daytime Talk Shows, claiming that Derek was such a kind, giving man. He couldn’t believe that Derek was a kidnapper and murderer. He kept repeating to anyone that would listen: “You can never tell.”

During jail visitation time with his Wife, Derek pleaded with her to find his cellphone. Carson had it. The phone would clear his name and show the world the truth about what really happened that warm day in July. She loved her husband dearly. She believed her husband completely and vowed to find the phone and clear his name.

Despite facing a possible death sentence, Derek was deeply content while sitting in his supermax cell. Yes, he missed his daughter dearly but he saved and protected her. He fulfilled his obligation as a good father. Nothing would ever change that.

Several months later, a guard came in to announce that Derek had a guest. It was his brother-in-law, Daniel. Daniel had no recollection of the events of that faithful day in July. Derek assumed the parasites had been flushed out of Daniel's system after the gunshot wound to Daniel’s leg, which resulted in him permanently walking with a noticeable limp.

Daniel calmly told Derek that he was going to visit Summer this afternoon and finish what THEY started last July. And this time Derek wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.

Daniel smiled, as his eyes clouded over with black tar. Daniel stood and left.

Derek screamed and ranted. The guards sedated him.

No one believed his rants about deadly pods and parasitic spores.

A renowned psychiatrist declared him a paranoid schizophrenic.

To the world Derek was a kidnapper and a murderer.

The media would refer to him as the Man In The Van.

THE END.

Domenico Salvaggio

Friday April 9th, 2010

Los Angeles, CA

ALL RIGHTS COPYRIGHTS OCULARSTORM ENTERTAINMENT 2010 ©


Friday, April 9, 2010

HAL 9000 LIVES ON MY CEILING


This falls into the random photo category. Last night I happened to notice that Hal 9000 from Stanley Kubrick's seminal 2001: A Space Odyssey was living on my ceiling. Snapped this pic and found it to be both artistic and creepy-tastic.

Since I took the pic I can't stop singing the song "Daisy Bell". It's the song Hal sings as he's being murdered by Dave-- "Daisy, Daisy..."


Angry Hal 9000.

You ever notice that whenever someone brings up the Hal 9000 in a Stanley Kubrick conversation, they just can't help talking in the dry, slow monotone of Hal. It never fails to crack me up.

Just another random pic that tickled my fancy.

Your Friend,

D.

Monday, April 5, 2010

PABLO ESCOBAR IN HELL ABOUT TO DEVOUR A BABY


This Photograph was taken yesterday, on Easter Sunday. It wasn't tweaked, altered or photoshopped. It came out RED of it's own volition.

My first thought upon seeing the photo was it looks like Pablo Escobar in Hell. Now this couldn't be further from the truth. It's my Wife's Uncle who is the kindest, most gentle soul you will ever meet. He's a pastor and a War Hero to boot. He even has the bullet wounds to show for it. I just love how menacing he looks in the picture, of course the red haze doesn't help. But it's such a counterpoint to what a sweet man he actually is.

The sacrificial baby in the pic is my Little Girl.

Your Friend,

D.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

APRIL FOOLS BITCHES!


April Fools Bitches!

Besides everyone knows John Hamm is better suited for the SUPERMAN Reboot.

Have a great April Fools Day people. Keep it clean.

Your Friend,

D.